so once again i am jobless but for now I am really trying to keep a cool head but it's hard not stress about it. i know sooner or later it's going to cause tension in my relationship cuz then hubby will be paying all the bills. i'm not even sure if i'll even make up my share for our bills the month . looking for new jobs is a job within itself & it is such a draining process! i'm trying to be optimistic but i find myself feeling desperate almost panicky about finding a new job asap cuz i won't have a paycheck in two weeks. i've even resorted looking into working at mcdonald's & (they're not even hiring)!! i don't know what i'm going to do. i hate to have to put so much pressure on my hubby who already works 6 days a week, most times 12+ hours a day with 2 ruptured disks in his back on the brink of major back surgery & he stresses enough about us being homeless. God i feel pathetic! So plz if u read this don't pity me or feel bad, that won't help. Plz offer prayers instead. I'd appreciate it!
...I had E when I was 17 & I only went clubbing twice when he was baby. So I guess now that I've have the opportunity to go clubbing, I've been going out a lot lately. I have been having lots of fun & enjoying the nightclub scene....however I have been observing lots of things that has been shocking but I don't know whether or not if it's because I am naive or if it really is surprising.
One thing's for sure is that the night scene is a total meat market. People are constantly staring & the girls are super competitive! I strictly just go out to clubs to dance, dance & well....dance. I attract a lot of attention when I go out. I don't know exactly what is, maybe it's the way I dress or how I look...but what I do know is I am just being myself. One of my gf's said I am a "magnet". I am not sure whether or not that's a good thing or bad thing.
When guys approach me I'm friendly. But I'm really not looking for any guys friends or potential boyfriends so I kindly tell them I am engaged & they usually back off. A lot of guys are like your fiance let yougo out?!! I mean is that not common?
but I don't know whether or not if it's because I am naive or if it really is surprising.
